Day 11

With that promise Jessica turned to me. “If she doesn’t keep her promise will that be a white lie or a regular one?”

Her wide eyes made it hard not to answer but the innocent complexity did. “Um, well, you see. I can’t answer that question. I’m not involved, if Claire keeps her promise or doesn’t keep her promise I’m not affected in any real way.” I pointed at the little girl. “You have to decide if it would be a white lie or not, but even that isn’t usually and issue until she does break her promise.” I had dug myself into a small hole the moment I agreed to talk to Jessica about lies. I continued to dig that imaginary hole with every word that left my mouth, and Claire was now aware that the hole existed. The moment I said ‘she does break her promise’ it was like saying that it was a sure bet she was going to go back on her words and laugh at Jessica’s innocence. “That’s, assuming, of course, that she does in fact break her promise. I don’t actually think she will-“ I should have stopped right there and saved myself while I still could “-but if she does I don’t think it will be malicious or anything.”

Claire was furious, Tim and Coach Z were occupying themselves with other things to avoid the conflict, Jessica seemed to be confused at my explanation, and Johnny was simply confused. “How dare you question my promise?” Did I mention Claire was furious?

“I only meant-” I seemed to be more and more on the defense with every conversation I had with people. Whether it be Mrs. Snowburn or Claire or even Harold.

Defense was also the one thing that no one seemed to want to allow me to have. “I admit that I have told some lies in the past, some that I stick by and some that I wish had never left my mouth. But I fully intend on keeping this promise, there is no reason in the world for me to lie to this child.” She was pacing up and down the floor to the point that my head had move just to follow her. Johnny had taken Jessica away from his mother and they were on the farthest bed simply watching.

“Look I didn’t mean-”

“Furthermore, where do you get off telling her when a lie is ‘white’ and when it’s not?” I sighed as we began going in the direction I had already approached with Mrs. Snowburn. “The only people that should be teaching her morals are-“

It was my turn to interrupt. “-‘her parents, her teachers, or anyone who should be informing her of anything like when people lie.’” It was exactly what Mrs. Snowburn had already to me and Claire needed to know that I had already been lectured on this very subject. “It’s not like I approached Jessica with this information. She asked me. What am I supposed to do? Lie to her about lying to people?” I leaned back in bed and glanced in Jessica’s direction. Her eyes were wide and she was visibly shaking, she had Johnny’s hand gripped into hers to the point that Johnny jumped every once in a while from pain. “That seems a little counter productive don’t you think?”

Claire leaned in so no one else would hear her response. “You tell her that it isn’t your place to tell her,” she said. “You tell her that and you’ve done everything that you can for that little girl. She needs to learn from people who she can believe.”

There was implication mixed in that whisper. There was blackmail mixed into that whisper. There were a hundred things in that whisper, all confirmed by the wicked smile. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that, if I wanted to, I could make everyone in this building believe you were a pathological liar. You’ve already figure out that I am, but no one else seems to. That makes it easy to turn the tables on you.” She sat on the bed but continued to whisper. “I know you know one of my secrets, but how many others have you figured out? At some point, if it comes to that, I will make everything you know becomes the lie. I can do it like that.” She snapped her fingers in my face and immediately stood up.

As she walked away she snapped her fingers once more to make absolutely sure that I understood her meaning. I did and there was nothing I could so about it. I had played her once and she wasn’t, under any circumstances, getting played again. This little conversation was all that was needed to inform me of just how far she would go. She was a nice person who smiled a lot and, for the most part held no ill feelings towards me, unless I crossed a line. Though, even now, I can’t really be sure how much of it was truth and lies.

***

I mostly spent the next few hours drifting back and forth in sleep. People moved through the room almost constantly, either with some sort of desire to keep everyone alive or to keep the children entertained. Sean and Ms. George went everywhere together, though thankfully were in the room more often then not during that time. Though no one talked about it and everyone knew what they were doing with their time away from the rest of us it was nice to know that they were still aware of our existence. They went so far as to help out, and though Coach Z turned to Sean whenever there was a question, Sean invariably turned to Mrs. Snowburn. He may have been trained in how to keep a school running smoothly but clearly he’d skipped out on the day when they talked about how to survive a depilating blizzard when you’re stuck in school.

The only people I didn’t see were Harold and Dan; Diana made a brief appearance while I was asleep so I guess I could say I didn’t see her either. According to Tim they were hold up in one of the classrooms shivering their butts off because they were sore over the argument they’d had with Mrs. Snowburn at my expense. I couldn’t feel sympathy for them; they basically wanted to kill me to stay comfortable. They were being childish and rude and it was their own decision to hold themselves up in a colder part of the school. Unless someone told them something that I wasn’t aware of, which was quite possible, there was nothing keeping them aware but their own issues.

So Harold walked in holding Dan in his arms, both shivering uncontrollably, I almost didn’t believe them. They had stayed away from good warmth for so long that they were coming down with something, Harold wanted everyone to be sure it was something that was going to kill them. I wouldn’t have been surprised if they were suffering from intense shivers. Mrs. Snowburn wasn’t sure and didn’t want to take any chances. She quickly set them up in a bed and took some of the blankets from me. I was fine with it; I wasn’t suffering from the cold anymore. I had even gone so far as suggest I help out. It was beginning to feel like I was mooching, but Mrs. Snowburn wouldn’t have it and kept me bed ridden. Her rational was that all the important jobs were filled with the people that were fully healthy. Half the time someone that could be doing something was simply sitting in a corner playing a game of Solitaire simply to pass the time.

I kept enough to keep warm, though not enough to stay toasty. It ended up that each of them got slightly less than me because, though Mrs. Snowburn didn’t want them to stay in bad shape, she also felt that they had brought it upon themselves. The mentality that my needs came first because I hadn’t chosen to get stuck in my car beat back the needs of Harold and Dan because they’d chosen to sleep in a cold room. Harold complained at first, but even Diana, who showed no signs of being cold, told him to quit whining after a while.

It was Dan that worried me. Harold had walked in carrying him and though he was sleeping it was a very deep sleep. Mrs. Snowburn was spending equal time taking care of the little boy as she was admonishing both his parents for letting things go so far. Neither cared of course. Harold turned away every time the subject was brought up and pretended to sleep and Diana just sat there looking bored. Mrs. Snowburn was constantly complaining under her breath that they were going to kill him, whether directly here or indirectly when he started hanging out with the wrong crowed because his parents didn’t keep track of his activities.

It was almost fortuitous that Dan was sick at the time. It prevented Jessica from asking me more questions about lying when there wasn’t someone else in the room. Whenever she tried, or tried to breach a conversation topic that was equally as tabooed, someone was right there to shoo her away or distract her with another activity. Whoever did it gave me a disapproving look, which was starting to get on my nerves. Unfortunately there were no opportunities to tell anyone to stop or to tell Jessica that it was a bad idea to be asking me those questions. The best I could do was try and ignore the situation all together, which was clearly tough on Jessica because she knew I would answer her questions when no one else would. It was also tough on me because, along with the requirement to stay in bed and not help out, it reminded me further that I was an outsider to this group.

Eventually everything became too much, I had to do something or I’d start yelling. Yelling, in this situation, wouldn’t have been helpful at all. “Mrs. Snowburn-” The moment her name came out of my mouth I felt like one of her students asking if I could go to the bathroom and, since I hadn’t any plans when I first caught her attention, it turned out to be just that. We didn’t really have a good place to go to the bathroom, we were surrounded by snow and the pipes, if they hadn’t already burst, were at least frozen. To fix the issue Tim kept on of the back doors mostly clear and made it a sudo out house in the snow. It wasn’t pretty, but it worked and the only one to ever complain was Diana. “-I need to, you know.”

I would have just up and walked out of the room, and I had tried a couple of times, except Mrs. Snowburn’s rule that I was to remain in the bed until she had decided I was okay to roam the halls. She nodded without hesitation and I was quickly wrapping the few blankets I had left around myself and exiting the room. Claire and Johnny came with, both because they were asked to and Johnny had to go as well.

When we reached the door and I let Johnny go first, I had more self control and I wanted to talk with Claire a little anyway. She knew it the moment I directed Johnny outside. She tried to follow him, but I kept her inside. “He’s a big enough boy to handle going to the bathroom by himself. Don’t embarrass him.” I nodded with a smile that he should go on.

He did, after making sure nothing was wrong, and I closed the door behind him. Claire made sure he foot was firmly planted in the door frame, but didn’t try and keep the door wide open. “What?” With arms crossed and head cocked to the side I wasn’t sure if she was a rebellious teenager or a single mother of one.