Day 12

I wrapped the blankets tighter around myself to delay and build up my confidence. “What the hell was that in there?”

“Oh I don’t know, Dan’s parents are…well, let’s just say that they’re interesting.” She glanced outside the make sure Johnny wasn’t within earshot. “I’ve heard some stories from my son that make me sick. The boy has no morals. He threatens and hits the other kids. And you know what I think? I think-“

“No I don’t care what you think. How am I supposed to know if what you’re saying is even the truth?” She stopped short of feeding me the gossip about Dan and his parents. Instead she stood there for some time with mouth open, blinking he eyes in surprise. “You made it very clear back there that you had the capabilities of being a pathological liar. I’ve already caught you once what’s to say you’re not spinning tales right now? For all I know Dan could be the sweetest kid in the world.”

“Dan’s a jerk.” Johnny pushed the door open and stepped inside. Claire was instantly hugging him to warm him back up. “He throws rocks at me.”

“So he’s a bit of bully.” I suggested. I was going to say that he should ignore bullies but Claire glared at me before I could. “I’ve met of few of those in my time.” I offered instead.

Johnny shook his head, breaking Claire’s hold a little bit. “Dan isn’t a bully. Bullys want something.”

“Like lunch money?”

Johnny giggled at the question. “No one steals lunch money anymore. Bullies take playground equipment without asking and threaten to beat you up if you tell on them.” I nodded my head to show that I understood, it basically the same thing as stealing lunch money. “Dan doesn’t want anything. He just walks up to kids and hits them.”

Claire nodded. “He’s known for attacking teachers. Johnny’s bus driver changed to our route from Dan’s because the brat threw a rock at his head.” I had to believe her now, though Johnny was her son he’d already revealed his mother’s biggest lie. There was no reason to hide anything less. “Johnny, why don’t you head back to the room? I’m gonna wait here for a couple of minutes and make sure Justin doesn’t lock himself out.” She smiled and nudged him down the hall.

Rolling his eyes he threw his body weight around to show his reluctance to leave. “Fine, I’ll go so you can talk about ‘adult’ things.” He was clever and at least knew his mother’s mentality. “You know you could just come out and say that you two are going to talk about me behind my back.” Well, smart to the extent that he thought everything in Claire’s life was about him. A reasonable assumption to make considering the effort she took to make sure he was safe. By this time I really had to go use the snow latrine and stepped outside before the conversation could continue.

Though the front had snow drifts that had built up in the time it took me to reach get to the school, the wind had mostly been blowing snowdrifts up the back of the building’s walls. When we left later we’d figure out that the drifts had grown so high they were taller than the single story building and spread a good distance into the playground. As it was Tim had done a wonderful job building a mini cave in the drift and was sturdy enough for us to relieve ourselves without fear of being crushed in a cave in. The roof was shining a little and there was a blue tint to the entirety of it that made me think it was pure, even if it wasn’t. It would have been very pretty, except for the growing piles of shit and various yellow divots spread around the floor. A must order filled the entire chamber and I tried not to inhale as I filled an indent that was already created.

***

When I stepped back inside it was with the apprehension that Claire wouldn’t be there waiting. We had to talk, there were clearly problems that I had to deal with even if she wasn’t willing to approach them head on. At the very least I felt I needed to explain myself to someone. Mrs. Snowburn probably wouldn’t want to listen; for the moment at least she was too busy with Dan and Harold to hear what I had to say. So that left Claire, the only other person who had accused me of teaching Jessica the wrong things.

She wasn’t holding the door when I walked back into the school, like she had been for Johnny, but instead was squatting in the hallway smoking. “I thought you hated smoking.” It wasn’t an accusation, though it could easily have been taken that way. It was more of a question, if she hated smoking so much because it reminded her of her ex why did it seem that she lit up whenever she could.

She smiled and blew out a steady stream of smoke into the air. “What are you saying? That just because I hate something I can’t enjoy it too?” She looked at the cigarette held between her fingers. “I hate my ex and I’ve tried to quit. I’ve been without for almost a month, but this is too much.” She smiled and pulled out the pack and lighter. “I didn’t even have a pack on me when I got here; I found these in the drawer in one of the classrooms. It was a teacher’s, not a student’s. I figured they’d understand, and if they didn’t I could pay them back when everything goes back to normal.” She took a drag and tapped off some loose ash and sat there for some time before letting the smoke go. “Now, let’s get one thing straight while we’re sitting here. I am not a pathological liar. I simply pick and choose what other’s need to know. If they’re insistent I throw them off my trail, that’s all.”

“And if throwing them off you trail includes lying?”

She looked over at me and laughed. “Well then, I guess I’ll lie. What they don’t know can’t hurt them right?” I sat down next to her and found a comfortable spot on the frozen floor, my blankets forming a cocoon around myself. “Look, you’re probably mad about what I said earlier.” I nodded my head, thought she didn’t see it. “I meant it, sure I meant it. I do mean what I say even if it isn’t always truth.” It was flawed logic, but I wasn’t going to argue. She had something to say and it was very likely that if I tried to correct her she’d try and figure out my flawed logic. “It’s just, you accused me of lying to Jessica and I wouldn’t stand or it. I don’t like to directly attacked under any circumstances, real reasons or not.” She inhaled another drag and held it.

“You know, I didn’t accuse you of anything.” I began. She didn’t interrupt so I had to assume she wanted to hear what I was going to say. “I’d been reading The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe to and she asked why Edmund and, ultimately, why people lied.” At this she opened her mouth and let the smoke escape, ready to tell me what I did wrong. “I know. I know I shouldn’t have said anything, but I’m not that good with kids and, well, I felt like she deserved to know. I’ve already been lectured by Mrs. Snowburn and yourself.” She was content that I got the idea and turned her attention back to her cigarette. “When you promised not to lie to her she as simply picking up the conversation we’d already had. I guess she just wanted a better idea if that broken promise would be white or regular.”